An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault.
After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.
It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
You can't have everything... where would you put it?
I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. ~Fred Allen