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senior moment...

Postby stav » Thu Feb 28, 2008 12:00 pm

A very self-important college freshman was attending a recent football game. He took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation.

"You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one," the student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear. "The young people of today grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, man walking on the moon, our spaceships have visited Mars. We have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with light-speed processing, and....," pausing to take another drink of beer.

The Senior took advantage of the break in the student's litany and said, "You're right, son. We didn't have those things when we were young........so we invented them. Now, you arrogant little sh*thead, what are you doing for the next generation?"

The applause was deafening
stav
 
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Re: senior moment...

Postby MrsH » Sat Mar 01, 2008 7:07 am

hehe that was great!!old people can been cool sometimes. I met one guy at the tram today and he could barley move, but were still able to flirt with all the girls and crack jokes.
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Re: senior moment...

Postby stav » Wed Mar 05, 2008 11:03 am

Glad you liked it.. well here's another one then :haha:


Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to
make their days interesting.

Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went to High Wycombe and
went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we
came out, there was a PCSO writing out a parking ticket. We went up to
him and said, 'Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?'
He ignored us and continued writing the ticket.

I called him a Nazi turd. He glared at me and started writing another
ticket for having worn tyres.

So my wife called him a sh*thead. He finished the second ticket and put
it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third
ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the
more tickets he wrote.

Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus.
We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired.
It's important at our age.
stav
 
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Re: senior moment...

Postby MrsH » Sat Mar 08, 2008 11:19 am

hahaha that one was even better ! I think I need to make some plans for what fun I should do when I retire..
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Re: senior moment...

Postby debrajean » Wed Mar 19, 2008 10:23 am

debrajean
 
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Re: senior moment...

Postby debrajean » Wed Mar 19, 2008 10:26 am

debrajean
 
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Re: senior moment...

Postby EviesEarth » Thu Mar 20, 2008 7:10 am

LOL, those were great. Thanks for posting them. I love reading about seniors that are having fun like that. :smile:
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Re: senior moment...

Postby stav » Thu Mar 20, 2008 11:53 am

heheh... i seem to have a big supply of these ones, here's one you ladies should save for when all those kids grow up and leave home..... ;)

An elderly man in Adelaide calls his son in Sydney and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing... forty-five years of misery is enough." Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Brisbane and tell her," and he hangs up.

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this."

She calls her dad immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and then hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife... Okay," he says, "They're coming for Christmas and paying their own airfares."
stav
 
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Re: senior moment...

Postby Calypso » Thu Mar 27, 2008 1:03 am

LOL, those jokes are great!

I also like the one about the little old man who was eating breakfast in a diner when a group of tough-looking bikers came in. "Hey, gramps!" one of them said. The old man ignored him and continued eating. The biker reached in front of him and took his plate of food away. The man never protested. He just started sipping his coffee. The biker yanked the coffee mug out of his hand and threw it across the room. The old man got up and left quickly.

The biker grinned at the server behind the counter. "Not much of a man, was he?" he said.

The server grinned back. "Not much of a driver, either. He must have hit half a dozen bikes just now pulling out of the parking lot!"
Calypso
 
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Re: senior moment...

Postby stav » Thu Mar 27, 2008 10:25 am

ROFL! Excellent Calypso.. love that one.


Another driving one...

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Henry, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280. Please be careful!"

"Hell," said Henry, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"
stav
 
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