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Some jokes for the ladies

Postby stav » Fri Apr 11, 2008 10:17 am

Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A. Both of them.

Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay?
A. They don't have time

Q. What do men & sperm have in common?
A. They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.

Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
A. He buys two cases of beer.

Q. What is the difference between men & government bonds?
A. The bonds mature.

Q. Why are blonde jokes so short?
A. So men can remember them.

Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A. We don't know; it has never happened.

Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring & good-looking?
A. They already have boyfriends.

Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A widow.

Q. Why are married women heavier than single women?
A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge & go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed & go to the fridge.

Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
A. They're married.

Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says. "Why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."
stav
 
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Re: Some jokes for the ladies

Postby MrsH » Sun Apr 13, 2008 9:43 am

hehe I love the last one. And as much as it is true that Im heavier now then I was when I was single I don't think the explanation given here is right for me.. I still very much love what is in my bed.
MrsH
 
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Re: Some jokes for the ladies

Postby stav » Fri Apr 18, 2008 10:08 am

Mad wife disease

A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine. "What was that for?" he asked.

"That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Laura Lou written on it." she replied.

"Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Laura Lou was the name of one of the horses I bet on," he explained.

"Oh honey, I'm sorry," she said.
"I should have known there was a good explanation."

Three days later he was watching a ball game on TV when she walked up and hit him in the head again, this time with the iron skillet, which knocked him out cold. When he came to, he asked, "What the hell was that for? "







She replied, "Your horse called."
stav
 
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Re: Some jokes for the ladies

Postby MrsH » Sun Apr 20, 2008 10:17 am

hehehe good one. I think if that was my husband he would be in even more trouble... Lucky I'm married to a lazy guy who would never have the energy to flirt with a new woman
MrsH
 
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Re: Some jokes for the ladies

Postby gladysia » Mon Jul 06, 2009 11:42 am

What will happen if my husband got caught driving without a license? My husband cant get a license, he went to court and the judge asked him to get a lawyer (don't know why because hes guilty) he told him to come back another day with the lawyer. What should he do?
_____________
matrimonial
gladysia
 
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Re: Some jokes for the ladies

Postby MJsusan » Sat Aug 06, 2011 1:24 am

I like the first joke, it is so funnly. :smile:
MJsusan
 
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